So on Wednesday I let you all know I was going to be taking a small break from vlogging. Small really is the key word here because I know I will only need a little bit of time away from it to be feeling inspired by it all again. All of your comments were so kind and lovely and I am never not amazed by how much you all enjoy watching the mundane aspects of my life, even though to me I often find them so boring. You guys spur me on so much with what you say in the comments, and that is totally why I am hard on myself about the content I am creating - I always want it to be the very best for all of you.
For a while now I have just lost the love of vlogging. Most days I would kick myself for knowing I hadn't filmed enough throughout the day, and then kick myself even more when it came to editing it and realising that feeling had completely been right and once again, the vlog wasn't the best. If I look back over the past year, I feel like every aspect of my content has improved apart from the vlogging. I don't usually take the approach of stepping back from things to revive them. Of course when you work in a creative job you sometimes loose inspiration, and lack the creativity you need, but I generally find if I power through and keep creating content, that the inspiration comes back to me eventually. But this time feels a little less like a lack of inspiration, and more like a general lack of enthusiasm for something. I have vlogged almost every week for over two years now, and have genuinely loved it so much the entire time, but I think a combination of not being at my best recently and spending more time alone has made my vlogs feel like a weekly monologue and not much else.
Now I am only five days into not vlogging, and I miss it already. Which I knew would happen, hence this being a short break. It made me realise how much I do actually think about it throughout the day. So many moments I have thought 'oo I must tell them all about this'. There have been a few moments where I have felt 'ah I am so pleased I have taken the pressure away from myself to have to share this' too, which I am also enjoying. But I am sure the latter of those two feelings will go soon and I will end up just missing sharing things with you all.
The comments you guys left on the video were amazing. So often you guys blow me away with how insightful you are and put into words how I am feeling without me even having said that much about it. The general response was that you all actually liked the mundane aspect and it provides a different side to the more glamorous and stylised content I share. This literally made me jump for joy, because that is what I have always wanted my vlogs to be. And being able to read so much feedback from your all has already given me an idea on what I want to focus on. So, as always, thank you so much.
I promise this is going to be a short break, and in the meantime I am going to vlog the odd day here and there to share these things I am missing, just the weekly's will be gone for a few weeks. Thank you always for your endless support, there aren't actually enough 'thank yous' in the world for it.
PHOTOS BY DEAN MARTINDALE.