My blog has never been an overly personal space. Of course it focuses on my personal style, which is often contextualised by what is happening at that moment, but there are huge parts of my life I don’t share on here. However, there have been some huge recent changes that I have to share with you all. Changes that are going to both manifest on here (and have been a little recently with slightly less consistent posting, sorry about that), and even more so on my YouTube.
Just under a month ago, Harry and I decided to part ways. After six amazing years together, years which span our adults lives so far, it’s safe to say this has been a huge decision for us both. Not surprisingly I am not going to divulge details here, other than this; the decision was mutual and we are still very good friends, and will continue to be. I think it states the obvious to say that you change as people so much throughout your 20s. Harry and I are both completely different people to who we were at 18 when we got together, and I am sure we will continue to grow and change so much in the next few years as well.
Harry has been a huge part of this blog. From patiently taking my photos countless times, allowing my work to creep further and further into every corner of our lives, and allowing me to dedicate myself to that work more than anything else. So much of what you read on here is possible because of Harry's support of what I do, and it is something I will never stop being grateful for. I know those of you who watch my vlogs will miss Harry's presence there, and I am so sorry that it can't continue. But my heart knows you will all be understanding of this, many of you have probably gone through something similar in your 2os too, it's a sad part of life for so many people.
It’s been a very difficult few weeks, and I am sure the coming ones will be too. I think that perhaps this gives a little context to the solo trip to LA , which is the only time I really feel I have made the absolute most of my freelance lifestyle by taking a break from things at the moment that I needed it. Something I know to do more often now too, as it was the best decision I could have made. I have tried my best to keep on top of work, but missed a video upload and a post here and there. But on the whole I’ve kept things ticking over, and the comings months I plan to throw myself into my work more than ever.
Needless to say, this is a huge crossroads in my life. A consistency for the past six years has now gone, it literally turns life upside down. It's the perfect time to throw myself into everything that scares me, which is just what I plan on doing... I am finally going to move to London. It's never been something I wanted to do, and it still isn't. I love the North of England, especially Leeds and Manchester. However, my heart is telling me this is the right thing to do. It's where most of my friends are, where my work is (I travel down almost weekly at the moment anyway), and where my lifestyle really fits best. My trips to LA really taught me the value of spending time with other freelenacers and how motivating that can be, it's something I have never really had in Manchester but will be very achievable in London.
I know so many of you love the fact I don't blog out of London, so I am hoping you will want to stay on this journey with me. I am going to vlog the process of moving down there, which I am sure will entail lots of ups and downs. I am going to share as much as I can in case any of you see something similar for yourself on the horizon. My content will stay the same, just from a different location. I hope to work with loads of different photographers once I am there, be more creative than ever, push myself more and more to improve. I feel this is going to be the best move, for life, career and happiness... it's just incredibly overwhelming at the moment.
I don't want to patronise you all by saying that life isn't always as rosy it looks online. I think we all know that now. Throughout the past month there have been so many moments when I have been writing about a pair of jeans and have desperately wanted to go on a rant about how hard life can be and how up in the air it all feels right now. But, obviously, I resisted that temptation. And I will continue to resist it. It's going to take a lot of time for Harry and I to work through this, to fully find our feet in life without sharing everything with one another.
Everything is changing so fast, and we are both trying to throw ourselves head first into everything. After a week of running away from things a little bit in LA, reality is hitting hard with all that needs to be done. But, I know I can do it. Today is my first flat viewing in London, I really don't have time to move cities right now... but I will make it work. And I am determined that the content will not be forgotten on here through it all. Radio silence is not an option, no matter how stressful things get, and I promise you the content will always be waiting here for you. It will be my thank you for all the wonderful comments and support I know you will give me through this. I am so lucky to have you all reading this and watching my videos. While it is hard to know the best way to navigate these things in an online world, I am always comforted by knowing how relentlessly supportive you all are. My content is a thank you for that, and I will never ever stop saying thank you.
Photos by Scott León.