One of my fave ice breakers is the following questions: “What are three things you like about yourself, and three things you don’t like, but not physical things?” It ALWAYS sparks so many amazing and interesting conversations, and if it’s with people you don’t know very well it’s a great way to get to know them. It’s also a great thing to think of for yourself, and one that is pretty difficult. Predictably, people can trot off three things they don’t like really quickly, and find it way harder to do the three positive things. We are all our own worst critics, but having answered that question myself a few times I can reel both the positives and negatives off pretty quickly:
1. I am very organised,
2. I am incredibly motivated, and have never lacked motivation. A day doing nothing is my idea of hell, so my productivity levels tend to be pretty high.
3. I am very friendly. I get on well with lots of people, and I am confident in all social situations.
1. I am so uptight. I never relax, I am tense and generally sometimes a bit of a bore. (Harry just read this over my shoulder and says it should read ‘I find it hard to relax’… and apparently I am not too much of a bore.. RESULT!)
2. I can be very black and white. Right is right, wrong is wrong, that kinda thing, my grey area needs expanding.. or just to come into existence
3. My priorities can be very wrong. I wrote a post last week about appreciating what I have achieved a little more, all good in theory, but I actually haven’t done very much of that! It means I can be too work focused, and loose time for other things.
The important part of the question is missing out physical things, which I don't think are as important as the personality traits. I would consider myself a confident person down to my Top 3 things about 'me', not so much about how I look. That being said, body confidence has a huge impact on all of us and how we live our lives. The confidence I have when it comes down to my appearance is about how I dress, not so much my face/hair/body, but the outfits I feel great in. When you're on holiday, that does tend to change. It's been almost 30 degrees here in Italy everyday, so my focus has been on 'how little clothing can I wear' each day! It got me thinking about what my Top 3/Worst 3 things would be about my body. Again, the worst are way easier to come up with, but I do think it's important to have those things we don't like (often they might be what give us character in our appearances too!) But of course, focusing on the good is key (and does not have to be considered big headed at al!!). So, here we go…
1. I am naturally thin. I hated this through my teens as I always felt so tall and gangly, but now I am so thankful for it! I do try to eat healthily, but I can get away with some naughty meals without seeing the consequences.
2. I have really long legs. I don’t actually like my legs as I have the most knobbly knees ever, but I like how they look in trousers. I feel I can pull off lots of different styles of trousers because of the length in my legs. It does mean I have the shortest body known to man, swings and roundabouts.
3. My eyebrows. This one is SO specific I know but I really like my eyebrows. They are quite thick, and oddly flat which I really love. I am a huge fan of the overgrown brow look, so I just let them do their thing most of the time and fill them in a little most days.
1. My GIANT konk!! This one is courtesy of my Dad, and is a Hadfield family trait. I have always hated my nose and how wide it is over the bridge!
2. My knees. I have already mentioned about knobbly they are, they are also very very weak so not only do they look bad, but they don’t even do their job well! Ultimate fail.
3. My bloody hair. I feel like I am finally getting closer to a point where I actually like it, but it’s always been so very uncooperative. It’s thin, it’s flat, it doesn’t hold a curl, it insists on being washed more often than I would like. It’s just not my fave!
Deciding your three favourites/worsts about yourself is such a good exercise, and while I never underestimate the impact of how we perceive ourselves physically, I think focusing the personality side of things is way more important. Working out what you don't like is so important in becoming more confident, as you work on improving those things. If it's physical attribute, that doesn't mean heading to a surgeon with a photo of your dream nose (although I don't disagree with people making that decision), but finding a way to come to terms with that an accept it, so you can focus on the not-so-physical things in life. I think confidence comes from those knowing your strong points in who you are, not necessarily what you look like.
Body confidence and our experiences with it are all hugely personal, and I think all we can do is comment on the matter from our own experiences and point of view. If you fancy reading a little more about this, I would 100% reccomend reading Megan’s one here (she is someone I have had the three things you like/don’t like convo with before), and also Reem’s one right here. Two very inspiring reads indeedy!
Finally, I cannot get through this whole post without mentioning this incredible bikini, which is now my fave ever!! It's also proved to be a very versatile piece on holiday, but more on that next week...