Embracing Sexy

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Recently I have had more and more comments about appearing sexier online, in video and photos. It really got me thinking about the different ways you can present yourself online, and the different factors that come into creating an end result that can be perceived as sexy - sometimes I am totally aware of what that end result may be, and other times I don’t anticipate the response I get from you guys. I want to make it clear that the way you all comment on my content is always amazing, constructive, complimentary and 100% welcome and appreciated. I love the discussions that opened up on my latest video about the sexiness of it, some people feeling it wasn’t too OTT, and even if it was that was totally okay, and others feeling it was too much of a departure from previous content and was constructed too much within the male gaze. It really got me thinking about it all, and these images seemed the perfect set to share alongside this discussion. 

 

I know I have been putting out content that is sexier, and the turning point for that was two fold; being single, and being more aware of my body. I don’t necessarily mean body confident, just an awareness. It’s something I have had since working out regularly, which for obvious reason makes you really aware of any changes in your body and how you want it to be for you to feel your best. It made me dress differently because I became more and more aware of the parts of myself I liked the most, and disliked the most too (e.g shorter hem lines, I know my legs are long. Nothing too tight on my tummy, it’s never flat enough). In terms of being single, I guess that’s pretty self explanatory. That introduces an awareness to how people respond to you that I never really considered before, and generally has marked a new chapter of my life.

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Generally, sexiness is something I want to see in my style more and more. I have always loved the androgynous and oversized style on women, and I still do, but to incorporate an element of sexiness into that introduces another dimension into things. I think that it also can be really subtle, perhaps more of an attitude than just flashing skin, and perhaps that attitude is what you guys have been picking up on recently. That attitude of course comes and goes. These photos, and the video I keep referring too, were all created on the same day when I was feeling good. Lots of small things contributed to that; I was excited to be shooting in a location, the last time I did that was the first time I really saw myself differently (and more sexy). I got Dean to trim my fringe, anyone with a fringe will know the huge difference a fringe trim can make when you actually can see again and don’t see your hair as an annoyance. I was using a new foundation (It Cosmetic's CC Cream) and my skin looked really good. And I fake tanned the night before, it always makes me feel better. So many small factors that just meant I felt good on that day, and it comes across in a confidence which translates to a sexiness. Believe me, I have days where I am shooting and I am in a stinker of a mood, and you would never get content with this vibe from me then, even if I put on the sexiest outfit I could think of. 

Small things like not wearing a bra are something I want to address too. It’s a super simple thing for me; the look of a white t-shirt where you can see your nipples is something I like. It’s that simple. It’s not for everyone, and there is every chance I will look back in a year and think ‘Jesus women, can you put on a bra’ - but I know I will also remember that it was what I liked at the time and you should always just wear whatever makes you feel good at any given time. I have said before that I look at photos of 17 year old me out in Leeds with a skirt so short no dignity was left and the most intense push up bra I could find. I wouldn’t wear it now, but i felt amazing at the time and so I don’t cringe at it one bit. 

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What I want to make clear is that I don’t ever want to create content for, or dictated by, the male gaze. Whether a man is behind the camera or not, my content is always a reflection of how I am feeling at the time, and how I want to present to you guys (90% of you are women too, but hello to that 10% of men here). I always have women in mind when I create content, I guess that’s obvious as this is about my style as a women. But more than that, how I am navigating my 20s as a woman, and how I am using fashion to express how I am feeling at any given point. At this point in my life, sexiness is something I want to portray in my style from time to time, especially on the days I am feeling confident. I will write about the days I feel less confident soon, because they come frequently and just like everyone else, I can spend time on Instagram looking at girls with a face and body I will never have. But we all have to embrace the days we feel confident, and take a million photos to commemorate them if you can. 

Let me end on a big thank you to you all for opening up these discussions. I love it so much, am never offended by it and always welcome it! Let’s all hang tight for the blog post in a years time saying ‘Why Did I Never Wear A Bra?’, or maybe ‘Boobs By My Knees, Let’s Remember The Good Old Days.’ 

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PHOTOS BY DEAN MARTINDALE