Hey everyone. It feels like a lifetime since I really sat down to write something on here. I wrote a couple of months ago about how, with so little going on in day to day life, there simply doesn't feel as though there is enough to share on a daily basis across different platforms. Here in the UK we are back in lockdown, so it feels like that more than ever. January is gloomy at the best of times, but this year really has outdone itself. I would be lying if I said I was feeling positive about it all. I constantly return to the sentiment in Zadie Smith's 'Suffering Like Mel Gibson', an essay I have referred to so much in my content, but it perfectly sums up the push and pull between our own personal suffering, with the comparison of a greater suffering at large that highlights our privilege, and therefore makes us feel guilty about our own struggles. I am in such a fortunate position. I live in a house in London, my Mum can be here with me, we can go and buy food when we need it, order nice things online to look forward to, sit and drink fancy wine on an evening. Really, it couldn't be more luxurious when I think about it like this! But still everyday I wake up and feel entirely flat, and negative about everything. My outlook has become entirely glass half empty, and despite having an awareness of that, I can't pull myself out of it. I guess the overall message is that it's ok to feel this way, it's ok to be unmotivated and uninspired, to be low despite having reasons not to be, to feel lost at a time when the overall direction of the world feels unclear.

Some things are that helping me on a day to day basis;

Assassins Creed. If you have never been into gaming, now is the time. It absorbs you entirely as you have a sense of (fake) purpose. 

Having one thing I need to do per day related to work. January is always quiet work wise, and it feels more like a chore than ever to keep it ticking over when there is nothing inspiring to share. So I am trying to make sure I do a minimum of one creative thing per day, to at least keep my mind working in that way. 

A bath per day! Phone out the room, with a book, for at least 20 mins. Being in water definitely helps anxiety. 

Something to make you laugh - I don't know about you, but I feel like I don't often really really laugh about things anymore. But making an effort to call friends up really does help, Linds made me cry laugh the other week which was long overdue. 

I would love to hear how you're all doing and what you are finding helps you cope with the day to day at the moment. 

Sending you all lots of love too. 

xxx